Babysitters' Club
by PhoenixFire Lia
Summary: Yukina is appointed temporary Reikai Tantei, her first assignment, nothing but odd. Fuzzy kitsune, grumpy grease-babies, ex-girlfriends of a certain silver youko, more cameos than an episode of SNL, a frazzled Koenma and no hope of an antidote! Dang!
1. Reikai Tantei! What?

Babysitters' Club

Disclaimer: I own nothing that resembles Yu-Yu Hakusho. But I do own a '95 Oldsmobile Cutlass Ciera I like to call Oldie. (Though his real name is Oldie Tallgeese Four Crooked Headlights Kill Switch Shaguar Youko Baby Ciera.) Oh, and I sort of own Youko Nadiel and Youko Lis. 

Rating: PG-13 for language, shounen-ai, and one very angry, very _out of character_ koorime. 

Pairings: Hiei x Kurama, Kuwabara x Yukina, Yusuke x Keiko, and a little Botan x Koenma

Timeline: The boys are roughly eighteen-ish, give or take. However, Raizen has not kicked the bucket, and Yusuke hasn't made any serious, long-term plans with Keiko yet. Oh yes, and Yukina is fully aware of her familial ties with one moody three-eyed fire demon. 

Summary: Yukina is appointed temporary Reikai Tantei, though her first assignment is nothing but odd. With fuzzy little kitsune, grumpy grease-babies, jealous ex-girlfriends of a certain silver youko, more cameos than an episode of Saturday Night Live, a frazzled Koenma and no hope of an antidote in sight, she's going to need nerves of steel. Somebody's gonna owe this little koorime big time. 

Notes: I know, this isn't a new concept. But as I speak, I don't think that I've ever seen Yukina in a major role in these kinds of fics. As far as I know, the task at hand is usually dumped on one of the Tantei members (most often Kurama) or at least Botan or Keiko. Yukina gets the shaft. So here's to you, Yukina, because you're cute and you don't get enough recognition! 

++

            It was very nice of Genkai to put Yukina up in her temple. Of course, being able to live in the temple didn't come without cost, nothing came without a cost when working with Genkai. Yukina was required to maintain the general upkeep of the building, as well as do the menial housewifery, the cooking and laundry. But, for her services, Yukina was given a comfortable place to live and martial arts training…just in case some bastard tried to exploit her koorime powers again. For what it was worth, she was getting pretty damn good with her practice sword. Not too much longer and she could almost equal her surly brother Hiei. 

            "I'm going to Kyoto for a few weeks," Genkai said to her one day, as the young woman was laboring over a pot of soup. "I've got some unavoidable business to attend to, so I'm leaving you by yourself. The wards won't let anyone come within a half-mile of the place, you'll be perfectly safe."

Yukina nodded. "What if Yusuke and the others come to visit, Genkai-sensei?"

            "They will let the dimwit and his friends in, but that's only because I couldn't get wards strong enough to keep them out. Besides, even if I could, Kuwabara's thick head would certainly be able to break through them."

            Now, as much as Yukina respected Genkai and was grateful for everything the old woman had done for her and Team Urameshi, she couldn't have been more excited that the bat was getting out of her hair for the next couple of weeks. Jeez, if she'd wanted indentured servitude, she could have stayed with Tarukane and the Toguro brothers! Now maybe she and Kazuma-kun could go on that picnic she was promised…or maybe she could get Hiei to spar against her. Wouldn't _that _be a shock to his system, that his seemingly innocent baby sister could kick his ass, or at least give him a run for his money? 

            "Have a wonderful time, Genkai-sensei," she said, smiling genially. "Don't you worry about a thing, I'll take good care of the temple while you're away."

++

            Less than two hours after Genkai had left for Kyoto, Botan had come flying into the temple at a high rate of speed, kimono sleeves billowing in the air as she zipped through the open screen door on her oar. 

            "Yukina!" she hollered, jumping from the wooden paddle while it was still midair, kicking her sandals off in the process, as it _was _rude to have one's shoes on in a temple. The ruby-eyed young woman came around the corner, dressed in a pair of cutoff jeans and a billowy blouse, looking more like your average ningen girl than the koorime maiden that she was. 

            "Oh, hello Botan. I was just about to go see if Kazuma-kun wanted to take a walk with me and watch the fireflies and… is something the matter?"

Something obviously _was _the matter, gauging from the distressed expression on the ferry-girl's face, and the fact that she was wearing one of those baby backpacks ningen mothers called Snugglies, a dog crate in her hand as well. 

            "Congratulations, Yukina, you've been temporarily appointed Reikai Tantei of the Ningenkai!" she stated, putting on her usual cheery demeanor. 

Yukina's brow furrowed. "Reikai Tantei? But Botan, _Yusuke _is the Reikai Tantei. Yusuke, and Kazuma-kun, and Kurama-san, and Hiei."

Botan nudged her toe at the floorboards. "Yes, well, an emergency has come up."

            "Are they all right? Did something happen to Yusuke and the others?" Yukina asked. 

            "Sort of…it's a very long story, something that'll take more than just tonight to tell. But Koenma-sama has sent me to inform you of this, and to give you your first assignment, Yukina."

            "My first assignment? But Botan, I _can't _be the Reikai Tantei! I couldn't fight a demon, not even a very small one. Please give the job to somebody else."

Botan giggled. "Oh, you don't have to chase down any demons or anything. Koenma-sama needs you to _babysit. _And you can't let anything happen to these two, it's very crucial that they stay in your sight at all times."

Yukina bit her lip. Babysitting? Perhaps chasing down a demon wouldn't be so bad after all. 

            "Right then," Botan said, unclipping the Snuggly. "Here's Yusuke, he's been asleep since we left the Reikai, and hopefully he'll sleep all night."

Yukina took the Snuggly hesitantly. "Yusuke?"

The blue-haired ferry pilot set the dog crate on the floor and opened the little metal gate, a silver fox kit bouncing out and immediately bounding over to Yukina, nuzzling her ankles. "And here's Kurama. He should be no trouble at all."

            "Kurama?! Now wait a minute, just what's going on here, Botan? Is this your idea of a terrible prank? It's not that April Fools' Day thing Kazuma-kun was telling me about, is it?" 

The frazzled Botan shook her head. "I wish it were. Please don't make this any more difficult than it already is, Yukina. As it is, I'm taking care of Kuwabara and Koenma-sama has to watch Hiei. I think you're getting the better end of the deal. I should go, I left Kuwabara with Koenma-sama and Hiei…I just hope they haven't killed each other yet."

            "But Botan! I don't get it!" Yukina yelled angrily. 

            "I'll explain everything tomorrow, I promise! I'm not sure if Yusuke can eat solid food, but Kurama will be just fine with a little ground meat and some milk…but make sure you _cook _the meat, for the gods' sake! Good luck, Reikai Tantei, I'll see you tomorrow!"

Botan hopped back on her paddle and flew off, leaving Yukina screaming at her retreating form. 

            "Oh Botan, I'm going to get you for this! Botan! Botan, you can't just leave me!"

++

            Fortunately for Yukina, her frustrated cries didn't wake up the heavy lump of warmth that she was carrying around in the Snuggly. She wondered if it really _was _Yusuke, and if the hyperactive fox kit running rings around the temple was the quiet, sweet Kurama who seemed awfully fond of her brother. What's more, she wondered just where she was going to _put _the little body. Genkai definitely did not have cribs, and she worried that Yusuke…if it even _was _Yusuke…would wander off. 

            "Botan is _so _going to get it when she comes back here," she grumbled. 

The little green-haired girl picked up a wicker laundry basket from the closet, stuffing a down bed-pad into it and lining the makeshift bassinet with clean linens. She lifted the tiny form out of the Snuggly and laid him down, staring agape at the sleeping figure. He wasn't much older than the toddler Koenma appeared to be, his green-black hair slicked back with two quarts of grease. And, most disturbingly of all, he seemed to be wearing a miniature mockery of a green junior high school uniform often seen on a certain loudmouthed Reikai Tantei. 

"He looks like a little doll. I probably won't be saying that when he wakes up, but at least for now he's cute," Yukina mused. She would have ruffled his hair, but thought against it, considering how much pomade must be holding it down. "Now where'd that fox get to?"

Her question was answered with a small yip and the sound of paws skidding on recently washed floors. The little kit was sprawled in an ungainly heap on the floor, his bushy tails flipped up over his ears, and he stared up at her with big, watery golden eyes. 

"You are absolutely adorable," she giggled, kneeling down to his level. The fluffy kitsune got back to his feet and pounced on her, licking her nose delicately. "Why Kurama-san! If Hiei ever caught you, you would be in serious trouble, you know." 

He let out a warbling little bark, nothing like a fox of the Ningenkai would ever utter, and made a face that could be considered pouting. He peeked over Yukina's shoulder at the sleeping child, let out a satisfied-sounding purr, and darted off again, yapping like an excited puppy. 

            "At least you're behaving now. I can only hope Yusuke won't be a problem when he wakes up. And I can hope that Kazuma-kun and Hiei are giving Botan and Koenma-sama heaps of trouble for putting me through this."

She got up, dusted the fox fluff from her pants, and went to see if Genkai had anything in her refrigerator that would satisfy a hungry demon fox. 

++

            The koorime girl and her fluffy fox were sitting on the futon couch, Yukina idly flipping channels. The little Kurama kit had been treated to a saucer of strawberry ice cream, and was now daintily licking the last bits of pink from his silver muzzle. The temple was quiet, and that was the way Yukina liked it. 

            "NO! NO!" 

Of course, golden silence never lasts long, not where Yusuke Urameshi is concerned. With a heavy sigh Yukina got up and trudged into the next room, where the laundry basket was. Kurama followed, not nearly as bouncy as he had been before he'd eaten. 

            "Yusuke? Are you all right?" Yukina asked, peeking into the room. The toddler was sitting straight up in the basket-cradle, screaming black and blue bloody murder. 

            "NO!" he yelled again, fists bunched up and glowing faintly blue with his ki. The green-haired girl ran to him, scooping the grease-baby up into her arms and bouncing him a little. Yusuke's scrunched up face relaxed a little. "Mm, 'Kina?"

            "Hello there, Yusuke. Are you going to be all right now?" she inquired. "Or as all right as you can be, considering you're younger than Koenma-sama now."

Yusuke made a disgusted face. "Stupid Kwenma, baby."

There wasn't a doubt in Yukina's mind anymore. This was Yusuke Urameshi, and he was one unhappy toddler. She plopped him back into the basket, which put him at a prime level for Kurama to jump him and start nuzzling. Yusuke yanked one of his tails, causing the silver youko to yelp. 

            "No, K'rama! Not Hiei," he whined, the fox hiding behind Yukina's ankles. 

            "Yusuke, that wasn't nice. Kurama-san doesn't know any better, and besides, he's probably just saying that he's glad you're okay. So behave. As it is, I'm giving the both of you baths and putting you to bed. Tomorrow will be very busy no doubt, what with Koenma-sama probably wanting to find antidotes for whatever it is made you like this…"

            "No bath!" Yusuke protested, hiding under the blankets, writhing like a fat little green caterpillar. Yukina simply picked up the whole basket and marched off to the bathtub, whistling for Kurama to follow. He let out a little squeal, bounding after her, still licking his muzzle. The ruby-eyed girl turned on the taps, testing the temperature and adjusting, testing and adjusting until the water was comfortably warm. The youko pup jumped in, splashing enthusiastically and voicing his approval. 

            "Glad you appreciate me, Kurama-san. Now come on, Yusuke. I'm sure you wouldn't be this finicky if it were Keiko offering to give you a bath," she commented, grabbing the squirming boy and dumping him into the tub, clothes and all. It took three counts of lather, rinse, and repeat before all of the hair pomade was washed clean of his dark hair, Yusuke scowling the entire time. Yukina wondered if it would be easier caring for her sometimes equally obstinate brother while she shampooed the silver foxling. Kurama wriggled his nose at the patch of piña colada scented bubbles that landed there. But Yusuke just couldn't be won over, and Yukina was beginning to think he was like this when he was a real infant. She'd have to ask Atsuko next time she saw her. 

            Two warm fluffy towels and a change of clothes for Yusuke…Yukina found a small jersey of hers that didn't fit too much like a dress on him…and it was back to the basket bed for the moody Reikai Tantei. She'd tried to fix up a similar bed for Kurama, but he wouldn't have it, and whimpered petulantly until she gave in and let the tiny youko sleep beside her on her pillow. He curled up into a little silver ball, tails over his nose, and fell asleep instantly. This caused for some clever maneuvering on Yukina's part, as she had to lie down without jostling her pillow too much. 

            "Good night, Kurama-san. Good night, Yusuke. Hopefully this will all be over tomorrow."

++

TO BE CONTINUED… 


	2. I Hate Small Children

Same warnings and disclaimers from last time apply. 

++        

Kurama, in his silver youko aspect, waited for her just beyond consciousness. He lifted his head slightly, regarding her with his deep golden eyes, expression serious, but not cold. Yukina hadn't forgotten that demons, especially ones as powerful as Kurama and Hiei, were adept at communicating through dreams. The aforementioned Reikai Tantei members also happened to be telepathic, but their current states probably inhibited such means. 

            "At least I can talk to you this way," he said with a heavy sigh, confirming Yukina's suspicions on being unable to speak telepathically. He ran a hand through his long silver hair, sighing again. "Hello, Yukina. I sincerely apologize for putting you through this…and were Yusuke not completely out cold, he would be here as well."

Yukina nodded. "It's all right, Kurama-san. You weren't expecting this to happen."

            "No, I wasn't, especially to such a state as I'm in. If it hadn't been for Nadiel and Lis, I would most likely be a child like Yusuke and the others."

She frowned, giving him a suspicious look. "Nadiel and Lis?"

            "As Botan already told you, it's a long story. And I'm sure it'll get longer, depending on the luck she and Koenma-sama are having with Kuwabara and Hiei. Hopefully Koenma-sama is getting his just rewards for putting us on such an assignment."

            "Is there anything I can do to help out, Kurama-san? I can't help but feel kind of useless. I mean, you and Yusuke are so much older than me, and I don't want to offend either of you by acting like your babysitter…" she trailed off, an embarrassed flush creeping across her cheeks. Here she was, little Yukina, talking it up with the infamous and dangerously handsome Youko Kurama, the selfsame fox who was practically doing backflips for a dish of strawberry ice cream not too long ago.   

 He smiled sincerely. "What you're doing for us is plenty helpful. I think that for now, there's little else you _can _do for us. Just continue doing what you have been, and when Botan and Koenma-sama arrive tomorrow, we'll see what happens."

            "All right, Kurama-san."

The handsome youko kissed her forehead. "You know, Hiei is very proud of the wonderful young woman you're becoming, Yukina. If he could see you now, I think he'd be quite pleased."

            "Thank you, Kurama-san. And at least there's one good thing about all of this baby stuff…at least Genkai is in Kyoto, so she can't make fun of you."

            "Yusuke is very grateful for that. Good night, Yukina. Get some sleep, I have a feeling that one of us will be waking you up bright and early tomorrow."

++

            Meanwhile, in the Reikai, George was in hysterics. He came bolting into the Great Koenma's office, bellowing at the top of his ogre lungs, the hem of his tiger-striped loincloth still smoldering a little. Koenma, hard at work pushing papers, wrinkled his nose. 

            "Aw jeez, George, I thought I made this clear! There's a no smoking policy in here!" 

The ogre licked his fingers and put out the small fire that had re-ignited where the fabric was smoking. "Koenma-sama, can't you _do _something about Hiei?!"

            "What do you _want _me to do? I very well can't leave the office, I've got too much work and besides all that, I've got to find the freaking antidote before more of my Reikai Tantei units end up like this," the high-strung toddler complained. 

George's eyes rolled back. "But Sir, he's a nightmare! He's already lit the drapes on fire, and he managed to stab two other ogres with a pair of Safety Scissors! Safety Scissors!" 

            "Well whose fault is that? You know kids shouldn't play with scissors. As long as none of you idiots try and mess with the bandages covering his dragon, you should be all set."

Another ogre came flying into the office, holding a squirming toddler in black out at arms' length. 

            "Koenma-sama, this little Jaganshi brat won't stay put! He's disrupting everything! Three months' worth of paperwork that we _just _finished getting in order is now a shredded mess! Begging your pardon, but isn't this kid _your _responsibility?"

The irate half-koorime managed to lean over and sink his tiny fangs into the ogre's arm. He howled in pain and dropped him. Koenma vaulted over the desk, changing into his teenaged form and catching him before he hit the ground. Because chances were, had Hiei taken that nosedive, the office would've suddenly become hotter than a Hibachi on the Fourth of July. 

            "All right, that's it!" Koenma shouted. "I'll take him to Genkai's temple and leave him with Yukina. We're supposed to see her in the morning anyways, so why not stop by a little early?"

The two ogres nodded. "Sounds like an excellent plan, Koenma-sama."

The brunette young man sighed. "Why did she have to give me Hiei? I wanted _Kurama. _He might be a little hyperactive, but he's well-mannered, at least."

++

            And in the Reikai ferry-girls' bunks, the other pilots were having the time of their lives playing with young Kuwabara. Botan had gratefully tossed him off to the other half-dozen girls, who were just as eager to take him. Of course, Kuwabara was sitting smugly among the lot of them, looking like the cat who was accidentally locked in an aviary. 

            "You best watch yourselves," Botan warned them. "He thinks himself to be quite the lady-killer."

One of the girls, Yuri, laughed. "Him? Botan, he looks like he could hardly kill a piece of cereal!"

The blue-haired young woman shook her head. "That's because he doesn't dare make a move on any of you. Kuwabara here happens to be the boyfriend of Jaganshi Hiei's sister Yukina. And Hiei has made it explicitly clear that if Kuwabara makes his sister cry, he'd 'cut the balls off that damn ningen,' as he so eloquently put it."

            "Stupid Hiei," Kuwabara added, scrunching up his face. 

There was a light tap on the door. "Botan?"

She jumped to her feet, all of the girls taking on horror-stricken faces. Hisses of, 'oh shit, it's the boss' reverberated through the bunkhouse. Botan swung the door open, revealing her superior in his teenage form, trying very hard to hold onto a kicking fire demon. 

            "Koenma-sama…to what do I owe this pleasure?" she asked, slapping on a perfectly fake grin. 

            "I can't stand another minute with Hiei, so I'm taking him to Yukina."

            "But Koenma-sama, she already has Yusuke and Kurama to watch out for. You can't possibly throw Hiei at her as well!" Botan protested. 

            "I can and I will. He may be invaluable to the team, but he's a pain in my ass! He's completely wrecked a good majority of the place, and none of the ogres want anything to do with him. I hate to do this to Yukina, but if I don't get rid of him, I'll never get any work done, and if I don't get any work done, my dad will kill me. And I can't leave him with you and Kuwabara, because…"

Kuwabara took one look at Hiei and started screaming at the top of his lungs. 

            "They hate each other," Botan finished. "All right. But she's not going to be happy about this."

++

            Yukina did _not _appreciate having to be woken out of a sound sleep. And it wasn't even a gentle nudge awake, either. It was Koenma throwing Hiei onto her bed, sputtering an apology (half of which she didn't even hear) and running off again. It wasn't until Hiei had started shrieking that she jolted awake. 

            "YOU'RE ALL GOING TO PAY FOR THIS!" she cried in frustration as Hiei's wailing in turn caused Yusuke to start bellowing in the next room. And, not to be outdone, Kurama poked his head out from the nest of blankets he'd burrowed into and began a warbling howl as well. At least there were no neighbors around to complain about the noise. 

            "Now _cut that out, _Hiei!" she demanded sharply. The half-koorime glared at her from under his white bandana, which was far too big for him and constantly fell over one eye…and it wasn't his Jagan, either. Yukina growled in frustration, getting up to check on Yusuke. 

            The Reikai Tantei stopped his furious yelling as soon as she stepped in the doorway. She sighed, picking him up out of the laundry basket and brought him into her own room. 

            "Dumb Hiei. 'S too early," he muttered, snuggling against Yukina. 

            "I agree. And when you get back to normal, you can do me the honor of threatening Koenma-sama with your Rei Gun for dumping him on me. It's three in the morning, for the love of the gods, and I'm too young to be dealing with this sort of mess."

            The bedroom had exploded into a small-scale pandemonium as Yukina walked through the doorway. Hiei was running around on the bed, trying very hard to stomp on a lump snaking its way around under the covers. Fangs bared and growling, Hiei was getting very frustrated at the fact that the squeaking lump refused to stay put and be properly squished. 

            "Hiei, _stop!_" his sister demanded. "You're going to crush Kurama!"

Hiei paused mid-stomp. He seemed so startled by this…either his sister's commanding tone of voice or the fact that he almost squashed his best friend and potential lover…that he promptly fell over. Kurama let out a terrified squeal and bolted from the covers, streaking out of the room in a flash of silver. 

            "Thank you _very _much, 'nii-chan. I really appreciate the animosity you've managed to generate in less than five minutes."

            Now, the small portion of Hiei's brain that was still functioning at full capacity realized damn well that he'd just pissed off his sister, his sweet, gentle, loving sister, and absolutely petrified the one person he trusted above anyone else. That same small portion felt miserable about doing so. But the rest of his mind, the part that wasn't working with a full deck, didn't seem to care that much. Yukina put Yusuke down on the bed and exchanged him for the growling youkai, pursing her lips moodily. 

            "Come on, you need to apologize to Kurama-san before he hates you for the rest of his life…and from what we both know about a youko, that's a _very _long time," she sighed, padding into the hallway. Hiei tried to bite her, but Yukina's eyes flashed warningly, the air in the corridor becoming suddenly much colder. Her brother grumbled and gave up. 

            There was no sign of the little kitsune so far, so wherever he was, he'd hidden himself well. But in his haste to get away from Hiei, he'd run straight through a rice-paper screen, tearing the flimsy cover in one of the screen squares. Yukina pushed the door to Genkai's training dojo open, light creating a broad shaft that illumined the rack of wooden practice swords. A quaking bundle of silver was trying desperately not to be seen behind them. 

            "Ha, so there you are!" Yukina cried triumphantly. "Come on out, I promise Hiei will behave now. Come on, Kurama-san. It's all right now."

The tiny youko didn't move an inch, letting out a warbling whimper of utter fear. The black-clad youkai infant's severe expression softened. 

            "Fox?" he called softly, sounding shamed. 

Kurama peeked out from the swords, ducking back behind them. 

            "Fox," Hiei repeated, this time more insistently. "C'mon, fox."

Yukina set Hiei down, nudging him towards the rack. Hiei stumbled, glaring over his shoulder at her before toddling towards the shuddering kit. For a moment, his former maturity and intelligence flashed across his young features as he flexed bandaged fingers in Kurama's general direction.  

            "Sorry, Kurama," he mumbled. "Love you."

He stumbled out slowly, golden eyes peering at him distrustfully. Hiei looked like he would genuinely burst into tears, simply standing there on wavering feet, waiting to see if he'd gained back his best friend's trust. Kurama whimpered again. 

            "Love you, silly fox."

The little kitsune pounced, knocking Hiei to the ground and nuzzling him, practically purring. Yukina sighed, thankful that yet another crisis had been averted for the time being. She shepherded her charges back into the bedroom, where Yusuke was out cold once again, and they all fell into a deep and dreamless sleep for the remaining few hours before it would be time to get back up again. 

++

TO BE CONTINUED… 


	3. Flashbacks and Kuwabara Makes Four

Same disclaimers and warnings apply, plus a flashback! Whoo! Flashback!

++

            Yukina swirled her coffee mug, watching the liquid inside create a little vortex. "So what exactly happened?"

Botan and Koenma glared daggers at one another, while in the background, the four infant members of the Reikai Tantei played happily. Of course, happily meant Kuwabara was avoiding Hiei at all costs, Yusuke was pounding Kuwabara's skull with his fists, and Kurama was hopping about wildly. 

            "_You _were supposed to be keeping an eye out for trouble!" Koenma declared. 

            "Well, _you _shouldn't have sent them out on that stupid assignment in the first place!"

The both of them exchanged looks, eyes narrowing before they answered in unison, "IT'S ALL KURAMA'S FAULT!"

The silver kit poked his head up at the mention of his name, head cocked as if to say, "who, me?"

            "How in the Reikai is it his fault?" the koorime asked. 

Koenma slurped a mouthful of coffee. "If that damn horny youko hadn't pissed off his ex-girlfriends, we'd be in far better shape right now."

Botan shook her head. "I sense a flashback coming on…"

            "Not quite yet, Botan, I have to explain things first," Koenma chided. "You see, it all started because Yomi and Mukuro were bickering again and sending demons to make a mess out of one another's territories…nothing new, right. The problem was that they were traipsing through Raizen's turf, and he was none too happy about this, so he asked me to send Yusuke and the boys to get the demons out of Raizen's lands and get the other two to quit trying to make Swiss cheese out of the Makai…"

++

            The four members of the Reikai Tantei were getting pretty fed up of chasing demons. They'd made a brief stop at Mukuro's fortress to warn her that Raizen would be busting her ass the next time she told her legions of demons to cut across his backyard in order to mess with Yomi. 

            "She didn't look too happy to see you, Hiei," Yusuke observed. 

Hiei shrugged. "It's because I refused to follow that infernal woman's orders. I'd much prefer being Koenma's errand boy than Mukuro's pet project."

Kuwabara shook his head grimly. "Yeah, if I were in the same place, I'd take toddler over bionic bitch any day."

Kurama sighed, toying with the ends of his hair. 

"Do we really have to see Yomi as well? I'd rather avoid him if at all possible," he stated. 

            "We don't have much of a choice, he _is _part of the problem. We just tell the horned freak to knock it off and that'll be that. I know how much you hate having to deal with him," Yusuke replied. 

Kuwabara snickered, slugging the redhead in the shoulder. "What's the matter? Scared of your ex?"

            "Immensely," Kurama replied in all honesty. Given the choice between going before Yomi and being boiled alive in a vat of Yusuke's hair pomade, he'd most indubitably take the latter.         

Hiei's hand rested briefly on his katana. "Don't worry, fox. If I catch him anywhere near you, I'll make sure he's less one set of ears."

Well, it wasn't the most loving of declarations, but then again, Hiei wasn't the most loving of demons. At least his heart's in the right place. 

            "Uh, guys?" Kuwabara coughed. "We're not alone."

Just then, a pair of youko leapt from the trees overhead, folding their arms across their chests and glaring at Team Urameshi. They were a pair of dark females, fox-spirits, one dressed in green, the other in brown. Kurama seemed to pale at the sight of them. 

            "Well, well. What do we have here, Nadiel?" the one in brown asked. 

            "Don't know, Lis. Looks like a bunch of trespassers in Master Yomi's territory to me."

The fox-girl in green, Nadiel, pouted. "You know, I believe that these are those boys Koenma sent to spoil the boss's fun."

Lis nodded. "I think you're right. Let's see…" she pulled a little set of index cards from thin air. "Yusuke Urameshi, Reikai Tantei of the Ningenkai."

            "Raizen's boy?"

            "The very one. And we have Kazuma Kuwabara, the ningen psychic with the glowing Spirit Ken. He's the tall, stupid-looking one, Nadiel."

Kuwabara's eyes bugged out of his head at hearing some little demon call him such things. "Hey!"

The shorthaired youko flipped another card. "Ooh, Jaganshi Hiei. Forbidden Child of the Koorime, fire demon…Mukuro's little playboy. My, this _is _quite a group, isn't it?"

Nadiel smiled viciously at Hiei. "Indeed."

            "And lastly, one Shuuichi Minamino…oh, beg pardon, that's his _alias. _Alias, Shuuichi Minamino. His real name happens to be…oh ho, this is interesting. Youko Kurama. Nadiel, it's our dear friend Kurama, come home for a visit! It's lovely to see you again, dear."

Yusuke winced. Not only were these girls laying the sarcasm thick, but they were making Kurama absolutely squirm as well. The redhead's youko self had been notoriously promiscuous in the past, taking lovers of both sexes, and these were obviously a couple of his ex-girlfriends. Ouch. 

            "I take it you two are working for Yomi now. I thought you swore you'd never sell yourselves out to some big boss," the half-demon boy said pointedly. 

            "We did," Nadiel stated coolly. "But Yomi's got a really good 401K plan, not to mention great dental coverage. Plus we get every other Thursday off, no nights, no weekends, no holidays, and we don't have to carry pagers."

Hiei gave the two girls a withering look. "What is it that you pathetic excuses for youko want?"

            "Ooh, he's got a temper. The boss sent us, firebomb. Yomi-sama isn't too happy that you've gone and chased off, maimed and killed off so much of his army."

Lis nodded, starting to bristle. "Not to mention you've spoiled all his fun. Tormenting Mukuro is about the only thing worth doing around here, you know."

            Yusuke lifted his hand, obviously prepared to charge up his Rei Gun and make some intelligent little quip, but the fox-girls lifted hands to stop him. 

            "No you don't, Urameshi. We'll have none of that. You see, because you've gone and ruined Yomi-sama's plans, he wished for us to…um, how should I put this? Dispose of you?"

Nadiel nodded in agreement. "I guess 'dispose' is all right. You're gonna die, any way you slice it."

            "I'm not fighting no girl, Urameshi," Kuwabara stated. "It goes against my Code of Honor."

Yusuke sighed. "I _know, _Kuwabara, we've previously established this. Besides, it isn't going to take all four of us to drop these vixens anyways. You can just sit back with the popcorn and watch. I call dibs on one of them, Hiei and Kurama, you two can duke it out for the other."

            "You know, Yomi-sama is willing to compromise, if you're willing to listen," Lis pointed out. "Or we can just fight to the death like the rest of the uncivilized masses living here. Your choice."

Kurama stepped forward. "What are Yomi's demands? I'd rather not spill any unnecessary blood."

Longhaired Nadiel pulled out a small piece of stationary paper, perused it, and threw it over her shoulder. It ignited midair and completely burnt away before it ever hit the ground. 

            "Very simple. Kurama goes back to working for Yomi-sama, and he'll immediately cease all attacks on Mukuro."

            "No," Kurama said immediately. "Absolutely no. 'Working for Yomi' as you put it translates out to 'being his youko-baby sex slave.' So no."

Lis shrugged, removing a long, slender pipe from where it was tucked in her belt. "I was afraid that would be your answer, and so was Yomi-sama. So he sent _this _along with us."

            Suddenly Yusuke let out a sharp howl of pain, clutching a spot in his neck. A hair-thin needle was quivering in the flesh. Kuwabara yelped as well, stuck by another needle. Youko Lis twirled her blowgun in her slender fingers, grinning viciously. Nadiel grinned as well. 

            "You're next, Mister Jaganshi," she informed Hiei. 

Hiei gave her a condescending smirk. "If you can catch me, vixen bitch."

Lis began chasing the demon, but he was always one step ahead, practically a blur of black as he darted from branch to branch. Nadiel groaned, shaking her head. 

            "We don't have _time _for this!" 

The girl in brown stopped, dropping down out of the trees, while her partner made something materialize in her hand…something she lobbed in Hiei's general direction. It exploded in a burst of blue powder, which enveloped a wide swath of the area. In a very un-Hiei-like fashion, he fell from his perch, clutching his throat and choking. Kurama glared at his two ex-girlfriends. 

            "What have you done to them?" he snarled, too furious to pull such a mediocre stunt as to reach for his rose whip. The girls shrugged. 

            "It's not going to kill them," Lis stated nonchalantly. 

            "Just a little…erm…spell type thingy Yomi-sama had cooked up especially for you boys in case you didn't feel like cooperating with us. So what do you say now, Kurama-kun? Are you going to reconsider?" Nadiel added. "Or are you going to end up like your friends?"

Kurama's ki crackled around him dangerously. Suddenly his outline blurred, and where there had been a redheaded half-human now stood a very, _very _angry silver youko. The two girls didn't even seem threatened as Youko Kurama moved closer to them, shielding the others. 

            "I told you before," the demon hissed, "I will not be going back to Yomi. Now unless you give me the antidote in the next two seconds, you will not be going back to him either."

Nadiel and Lis exchanged glances. "He threatened us."

            "He did! And to think, not more than seven hundred years ago we were one big happy orgy. Just Kurama, and us, and Rekki, and Sabrem, and Ketriel, and Mareen, and…"

            "Don't forget Jocastra."

            "Oh, right."

Kurama grabbed them by the collars, lifting them off the ground and bringing him just inches from his face. "Are you even listening to me? Or are you just mocking me now?"

Lis jabbed one of her blow darts in his throat. "Nope, just waiting for the opportune moment to stick you with one of these things. You shouldn't have turned Yomi-sama down, Kurama."

Nadiel smiled sweetly. "Enjoy being a puppy, we know we'll have fun watching you. Yomi-sama just bought a high-definition television, so we can watch you just the way that goofy kid Koenma watches you, only with better reception."

            Youko Kurama dropped the two girls, who ran off giggling hysterically. "Shit…"

He sank slowly to the ground, gulping as a bitter taste filled his mouth. That potion worked pretty damn quickly. Vision going blurry, the silver youko curled up beside Hiei and passed out. 

++

            "And _this,_" Botan waved at the toddlers behind them, "was how I found them when Koenma sent me to check on their progress."

The childlike god nodded. "That hothead Kurama should have just gone with those girls. So what if he got stuck with Yomi for a while, at least he would've gotten the chance to retrieve the antidote. Now I've got to go beg Yomi, and I _hate _having to beg! It makes me look so juvenile!"

            "Then why don't I go and get the antidote?" Yukina suggested. 

            "NO!" Botan and Koenma shouted. 

Yukina folded her arms and pouted. "You appoint me Reikai Tantei, then you tell me I can't go and do my job…you're going to make me watch all four of them, aren't you?"

Botan grinned. "Just think of it this way, you get to spend time with Kuwabara after all!"

            "I didn't mean it like this!" she moaned. "Please, isn't there anything you can do?"

Koenma's eyebrows arched. "Of course not! If I thought there was, I would've already tried it!"

Botan bit her lip. "We should probably go now, Koenma-sama, so we don't leave Yukina by herself for too long."

He nodded in agreement. "Let's roll."

            As soon as Yukina was out of earshot the Reikai prince exchanged looks with his coworker. 

            "Jeez, Yukina's definitely hit teenagerdom. She acts like she's got PMS."

Botan shrugged. "Oh, I'll bet she'll get over it. Hey, let's stop for ice cream first! My treat."

            "Definitely. Can't beg before powerful demon lords on an empty stomach."

            "Maybe catch a movie too?"

            "Aw, hells, why not? We never get time off for dates anymore, do we?"

++

TO BE CONTINUED… 


	4. Yukina Takes Charge, Man

Same disclaimers and warnings apply…like they have been for the past few chapters. 

++

            Time trickled by, and Yukina felt herself being pulled in four different directions. Yusuke and Hiei were now combating each other, firing miniature versions of Rei Gun and the Kokuryuuha. Kurama was, well, being Kurama. Which basically had him running around like a hyperactive silver streak, occasionally pausing to chase one of his tails. And Kuwabara, always the ladies' man, was doing his very best to woo Yukina, not hindered in the least bit by his juvenile form. 

            "All right, guys, I've had enough," she finally announced. "Come with me and _sit down._"

The four Tantei members followed on three pairs of shaky legs and one set of quick and lively paws. Yukina led them into the training room previously occupied by a scared shitless youko pup, pointing to a spot on the floor where they would sit and stay. Kuwabara edged away from Hiei, cowering behind Yusuke. Kurama daintily plopped himself down on the floor and promptly laid his head in Hiei's lap. Hiei glared at him but ultimately let the fox do what he pleased. 

            "I haven't done this since Genkai-sensei left," she informed them, selecting a practice sword from the rack. She tested it on her palms for a moment, then began an intricate sword-dance, movements nearly as rapid as her twin's. The four young men watched in fascination as the slender girl moved across the wooden floor, noiseless, graceful. Even Hiei was impressed. 

            "Good," Yusuke voiced. 

Kuwabara laughed. "Mine! My 'Kina!"

Hiei fixed him with a ruby glare that threatened to impale him. "Stupid ningen."

Kurama added a little bark that, as in most cases, designated him as mediator between carrot-topped human and angry youkai.    

            Just then the whole party was silenced by the sound of a door sliding on its track. Footsteps sounded across the temple floor. Yukina's eyes went wide, her sword still in hand. The four Tantei members clambered to their feet, each poised to attack in his own preferred manner. 

            "Yukina? You home?" the voice of one Kuwabara Shizuru called out. 

            "Of course she's home, where else would she be?" retorted the voice of one Yukimura Keiko. Yusuke and Kuwabara blanched. 

Yukina tucked her sword into her obi and wandered out of the room. "I'm here. What can I do for you?"

            "Where's Yusuke?" Keiko demanded. Always the blunt one, that girl.

Shizuru went into her pocket for a cigarette, but decided to forgo it, considering she _was _in a temple. "Look, it's not like I'm worried or anything. If Kazuma is off on some crazy mission with the others, good for him, as long as he's not lying dead in a ditch somewhere. But Kurama's mom keeps calling our house asking if we know where he is, and she sounds close to a panic attack."

            "Well, they _were _on a mission," Yukina said slowly. "But something came up."

Keiko's eyes widened. "They're in trouble? They got hurt? Or kidnapped? Yusuke isn't dead again, is he?"

Yukina shook her head. She glanced over her shoulder, into the training room. They wouldn't be happy, any of them. With a resigned sigh, she stuck two slender fingers in her mouth and whistled. 

            Kurama shot out of the room, zipping around the two humans' ankles before sitting quite calmly beside Yukina. Keiko bent over and scooped up the silver kit, hugging him as she often did for Puu. 

            "He's so cute, Yukina! What's his name?"

            "Kurama."

Shizuru arched an eyebrow. "You named your dog after Kurama?"

            "Not exactly. That _is _Kurama. He, Yusuke, Kazuma-kun and Hiei were all turned into children. Kurama-san sort of made a couple of his old girlfriends angry, I suppose. The others are in there, if you would like to see them."

The elder of the three shrugged, while Keiko's face went white, then red, and finally an odd eggplant color. Yusuke, Kuwabara and Hiei stuck their heads out the door, timidly peering out at the older girls. 

            "Yusuke Urameshi, I can't believe you! How could you be so careless?" 

Shizuru's previous look of incredulity only increased. "Weren't you listening? She said it was Kurama's fault."

            "But Yusuke should have avoided it! When you get back to normal, Yusuke, I'm going to pound you within an inch of your life!"

Kuwabara the Elder grabbed the ranting junior ramen-ka by the arm and dragged her off. 

            "Thanks for the notice, Yukina. Let us know when they're the proper height, okay?"

Needless to say, Yusuke looked rather relieved when his ranting girlfriend had exited. 

++

            Several hours trickled by, but Botan and Koenma had yet to return. The boys were getting restless, irritable, and over-emotional. Then again, so was Yukina. Currently, she was sitting on top of an overturned laundry basket containing her brother, who'd bitten Kuwabara, sent Yusuke into a Rei Gun blasting rage, and tried to set Genkai's bed on fire. In her hands were the broken remains of a Ming Dynasty vase Kurama accidentally tipped over when he ran into an ill-placed end table. Strained carrots were mashed into her hair courtesy of Yusuke, and Kuwabara had sufficiently slobbered on her trying to kiss her cheek. 

            "This has gone way too far," the teenaged koorime declared. "I don't care what they said, I am going to the Makai, and I am getting that antidote."

She hopped off the laundry basket, Hiei immediately righting it and making his escape. Yukina didn't care. She marched into Genkai's room, flinging open the closet doors. Way in the back was an old black one-piece robe, an old ninja suit. Apparently Genkai had had a brief stint in a Shinobi sect back in her younger years. This, she slipped on, along with the accompanying slippers and a pale pink sash Kurama had given to her for White Day. The koorime girl pulled her hair into a high tail, then very calmly walked into the armory. 

            "I'm terrible with shuriken, and lousy at the bow. Looks like I'll just have to copy a page from Hiei's book, I suppose," she sighed, unsheathing each katana in succession, trying to find the lightest one. The sword she selected was light, the edge of the blade paper-thin, the metal inscribed with swirling designs and characters of the samurai bushido code. 

            "All right," Yukina said at last, standing before the four young fighters. Yusuke started laughing hysterically, Kuwabara tried suppressing his giggles, Hiei glared at her from under his bandanna, and Kurama let out a proud little yip. "I'm going to the Makai to get your antidote."

            "Wha 'bout us?" Yusuke asked suspiciously. 

Yukina bit her lip. "Gee, I really don't know. I can't just leave you here, but I can't exactly take you with me, either."

The door flew open for the second time today, and three figures stood silhouetted in the door. 

            "Top o' the morning, icy lass!" Jin cried out cheerily.

Chu took a swig from a very large bottle. "All of the Makai is buzzing about these blighters. Thought we'd come have a lookee fer ourselves."

Touya nodded. "Looks like the rumors are true."

            A very devious and un-Yukina-like plan bolted into the girl's brain. "Hey, would you guys mind doing me a very large favor?"

Chu grinned. "Anything for a pretty Sheila like you."

            "Could you babysit them? Koenma-sama was supposed to be getting the antidote from Yomi, but he and Botan haven't come back yet. So I thought I'd go myself…but I really can't take them, and I really can't leave them alone, either."

Jin's smile spread from ear to pointy ear. "Sure we can keep our eyes on the wee lads!"

            "Do you have any idea how to watch children, Jin?" Touya asked. 

            "Nope, but I'll be making a learning experience out of it, surely!"

Yukina started having second thoughts, but realized this was the only way she was getting out of the house without any interloping from the little ferrets. "They're not too difficult, part of them still thinks like a teenager, at least. And I'm taking Kurama, so that's one less."

            "Aw, and I wanted to be playing with the wee puppy!" Jin pouted. 

She shook her head, picking up the fox. "He got them into this mess, he's helping get them out. I'll be back soon. Please don't destroy anything, Genkai will throw a fit."

            "Don't you worry, Sheila. We'll be tighter than mates in a billabong."

Touya frowned. "Why is it I'm stuck with the two demons nobody can understand?"

++

TO BE CONTINUED… 


	5. Kuronue! Go Kuronue!

Same disclaimers and warnings apply. And hey, Kuronue's in this chapter! YAY! 

++

            Gates to the Makai didn't just drop anyone where they wanted to be. Otherwise, things would have been a whole lot easier for Yukina. Especially where she wasn't a frequent traveler. Nothing looked familiar, and she couldn't just ask somebody for directions. 

            "Please tell me you know the way to Yomi's," she begged the silver youko. 

Kurama gave her a look that clearly said, 'you have to be out of your mind.'

            "Beg pardon, miss. Did I hear you said you needed directions to Yomi's fortress?" a very smooth and debonair voice asked. Yukina jumped clear out of her socks, whirling around. She couldn't see anybody there. 

            "Do you know how to get there?" she inquired, gripping the hilt of her katana. 

A hazy form materialized in front of her, transparent, edges smoky and glowing. "Sure do. Used to ransack the place all the time. Pissed old Yomi off like you wouldn't believe."

Yukina rubbed her eyes. "You…you're a ghost!"

            "What? I am? Really?" he cried sarcastically. "Thanks for pointing out the obvious. Yes, I'm a ghost. Ghost and aid to the needy. It's the suckiest sentence I've heard of, but hey, if it gets me on parole quicker, I'll do anything. So, what's your name and life story, kid?"

            "My name is Yukina, Yukina of the Koorime. My twin brother and his friends were all turned into children, and Yomi has the antidote," she explained. 

The apparition nodded. "Fun. And let me guess, that's your little dog Toto."

Kurama gave an indignant sniff, lips curled back in a rather non-threatening snarl. 

            "Oh no, he's actually a youko. His name is Kurama, he's my brother Hiei's friend…boyfriend…something like that."

            "No shitting? That's the infamous Youko Kurama? A puppy?!" the ghost burst into peals of laughter. "The poor bastard! Suppose he deserved it, bet he really pissed somebody off. Aw damn, I've gone and confused you now. Name's Kuronue, I'm an old beau of your fox friend myself. Currently serving some time in the first level of Hell 'cause of that damn kitsune."

            "But you'll help me?" Yukina asked hopefully.

Kuronue wiped away a ghostly tear. "Anything for a friend of old Youko's. That son-of-a-vixen saved my ass more times than I can count. C'mon, I'll lead you right through the front gates."

Well! Things certainly seemed to be looking up for Yukina! It's about damn time, ne?

++

            "…And then this one time, Kurama decided we needed to add this ruby necklace belonging to some demon countess to our collection. But of course, when Kurama thinks we need to steal something, he's going to steal it in the grandest of fashions. The bastard had me dangling upside down from an air vent while he held my feet, and here I am trying to unhook the necklace from the broad's throat right in the middle of a dinner party. He almost dropped me twice!"

Yukina listened in fascination. For a ghost serving time for petty larceny, Kuronue was interesting and fun. She'd never heard anything about Kurama's past, and from what the chimera was recanting, it was one wild past at that. Kurama, meanwhile, was sound asleep. Were he not in full kitsune form, and did not currently possess the attention span of a fruit fly, he would have been all over the chance to speak with his former partner and lover. Instead, he was happily snoozing in Yukina's arms. 

"All right, lovely Miss Yukina, we're coming up to Yomi's big and intimidating fortress. Now usually this is where I'd bugger off and go help some other poor sap, but in this case I think I'm going to accompany you. Mostly because I never gave Kurama a proper what's what before I kicked it, you know, and he'll be ripshit if he misses me again," Kuronue informed her. 

"I thank you very much for all that you've done for me. I appreciate it greatly."

"No trouble at all, Missy. Just put in a good word for me with your boss Koenma, I'd be much obliged. Savvy?"

Yukina nodded. Kurama chose that moment to wake up, yawning widely and making some adorable little squeak that would've had even Raizen going 'awww.' 

            They met with surprisingly little resistance getting through the front gates. Yukina wondered if they were intimidated by her Shinobi robes and her katana. She later discovered that they didn't give two shits about that. They were more intimidated by the ghost standing next to her, glaring ectoplasmic bloody murder. Although, she did rack up a few Brownie points for looking more like the sister of the fierce and downright scary Jaganshi Hiei, wielder of black fire and heir to Mukuro's lands. 

            "The main function room should be right through these doors, unless Yomi's redone the place since the last time old Foxy an' me ransacked it. Man, did we have Gandara quaking in its boots. All you had to do was whisper 'Kuronue and Kurama' and demons would be heading for the hills," the transparent chimera laughed. They pushed the doors open, not bothering with formality and waiting to be announced and all of that useless junk. 

            Draped in a very boneless position across the Great Throne of Gandara happened to be not Yomi, but his personal Mini-Me Shura. The two black youkos, Nadiel and Lis, were lounging in a pair of comfy chairs nearby. They were throwing grapes at each other. Shura yawned, but perked up and sat up at the sight of his visitors. 

            "Well, this is interesting. What have we here?" 

Nadiel squeaked. "Holy Inari, it's Kuronue! How's it been going, Kuro?"

            "He's dead, you idiot, how do you think he's been?" Lis retorted. "Don't mind her, she got blitzed on Makai Ambrosia again last night."

Kuronue flashed a smile at the two former members of his gang. "Ladies…you still owe me quite a bit of swag, if I remember correctly. When I get reincarnated, I'm hunting you down and I'm getting what you owe me. Savvy?"

            "Excuse me," Yukina said of Shura. "But we're here to see Yomi. It's very important."

The heir to the horny devil's turf shrugged absently. "Dad's not seeing anyone today. I'm in charge. So, state your name and business and hurry up on out of here. _Fruits Basket _is on in five."

The koorime girl set her small silver burden down, the fox staying close to her. The two black youkos took one look at him and started giggling behind their hands. 

            "My name is Yukina, of the Koorime; pupil of the psychic Genkai; twin sister of Jaganshi Hiei, Mukuro's heir; friend of the Judge Koenma's Reikai Tantei, the heir to Raizen's land Urameshi Yusuke," she listed. Genkai had taught her that when addressing a demon of great importance, it was vital that one listed as much stuff as they could about themselves. The more important a youkai sounded, the less their superior would try to kill them. 

            "Impressive lot, Yukina. Now, tell me what it is that's got you to come all this way."

Her hand closed around the hilt of her sword. "I would like you to give me the antidote for the age-reversal curse immediately, if you please."

            "And if I don't?" Shura asked lazily. The girls were still giggling at Kurama, who was trying to look threatening. He'd puffed up his fur in an attempt to raise his hackles, but only succeeded in making himself look like a golden-eyed cotton ball. 

Yukina drew her sword, the blade humming with a cold and glittering energy. Hiei said using ki with swords was inelegant, but the way her icy ki glowed along the fine edge of the blade would have changed his mind were he there to see it. 

            "Well, then, I suppose I'll have to take it by force. But I really don't want things to have to come to that, taking things by force is more of my brother's habit. Then again, you did cause harm to my friends…" her expression grew hostile, taking on a dour look seen more often on her twin's face. "…And I don't like it when people cause harm to my friends."

Nadiel and Lis visibly winced, the two vixens looking as if they'd seriously consider surrender. 

            "Nice try, but I'm afraid it's just not going to be enough. You see, Kurama and the rest of that brat Koenma's little detective team really offended my dad. And when Dad gets pissed, he tends to…lash out. It's going to take a while for him to calm down. So, I suggest you come back in a few months."

Kuronue's hollow eyes flashed threateningly, the spectral chimera lifting Gandara's heir clear off the throne with his ghostly powers of levitation…because ghosts can do that, y'know. 

            "I'm calling parley, boy. And my terms are simple. You give the koorime what she wants. I don't make your face a bloody mess using up my one token Sworn Vengeance…because I know it was your dad who sent those hunters out there. The ones who snared me in the ol' bamboo trap."

Shura glowered. "It's your own damn fault, you know. You shouldn't have taken Kurama from my dad."

            "And here we go again," Lis sighed. "Everything happens to be Kurama's fault."

Nadiel agreed, popping another grape into her mouth. "Wonder if anything's ever going to be that Kuwabara guy's fault. Or Tantei Yusuke. That'd be cool, huh?"

Kuronue made Shura fly around the room in lazy circles, the chimera grinning madly. "Are we savvy yet, boy?"

            "I'm not giving you anything! With the Reikai Tantei gone, we can invade Mukuro's place whenever we want! You're not ruining any more of our fun, no way, no how!"

All the while, Yukina was growing more and more furious. For now, fire youkai blood was thrumming in her veins. She briefly wondered if this was how Hiei felt. Kurama wisely chose this moment to duck and cover. 

            "If you don't give me that antidote this very minute, I'll freeze off your privates and throw them into the nearest abyss!" she screamed. Kuronue was shocked enough to drop the young demon straight to the floor. 

It was at this point that Yomi came stumbling through the door, hastily tying a bathrobe on. He wore the look of a very powerful demon who'd just been interrupted whilst in the middle of doing rather naughty things to his playmate of choice. 

            "What in the name of the Ten Circles of Hell is going on out here?" he thundered. 

Yukina was on full rant mode now, and there was no stopping the hell-for-leather koorime. 

            "I demand that the Reikai Tantei are all turned back to normal, and I want it done NOW! I will not be pushed over any longer!"

Yomi stared (well, sort of, considering the blighter's blind) at the irate young woman in amazement. He'd heard plenty from Mukuro about this girl, Yukina, Hiei's soft-spoken, sweet, endearing little twin. If she could go postal after one day of watching the infant Urameshi Team, he didn't want to know what she'd be like if he left the boys as they were. The potion was set to naturally wear off after forty-eight hours if the antidote wasn't administered. 

            "All right, calm down, young lady. I'll have the elixir brought to you immediately. And as for you, Kuronue…" the great horned youkai said. 

He held up his hands. "Hey, I'm just here for the tour. My pillaging days ended some time ago."

Nadiel and Lis, who'd run clear out of the room at breakneck speed to avoid Yukina's wrath, returned with a small stoppered bottle. 

            "Just sprinkle a bit of that on the Tantei and they'll return to their appropriate ages."

            Yukina wrenched the stopper off, tipping the dark blue bottle until a few milky drops of liquid spilled over the lip and onto the silver youko kit's tiny nose. He yelped, form changing rather suddenly. It was like watching one of those time-elapsed science movies of a plant growing, only in super fast-forward. Youko Kurama sat on the floor, slightly cross-eyed, very confused. 

            "Somebody care to explain how I got to Gandara so suddenly?" he moaned, wishing the floor would stop writhing so much. 

Kuronue was in hysterics, laughing until his sides practically split. "Foxy, the look on your face! Bwahahaha! Better than the time you fell in that cesspool trying to outrun those Falair demons!"

The silver youko whipped around. "Kuronue?!"

            "In the…well, you know. Wish I could stay and chat, but they're expecting me back real soon, and if I don't get back on time, then it's another ten years to my sentence. I go on parole in the near future, might even get reincarnated into something decent. Maybe if I'm real lucky I'll end up ningen and come visit you."

            "Please don't go," he whispered, eyes wide and glassy. 

The chimera shook his head. "Gotta. But leastways we got to see each other and have our proper goodbyes, this time, eh? Besides, you've got that little fire brat to look after you now, you don't need me mucking things up. And you might want to watch out for this little lass, she's got a bit of his temper in her. I'll be seeing you, Kurama."

            "Goodbye, Kuronue."

            "Hey, no goodbyes. Goodbyes are for morons who end up in the lower levels of the old Pit. I'll be back before you even know it. Love you forever, you damn kitsune."

Kurama managed a smile. "Love you past that, you idiotic chimera."

            "Thank you for everything, Kuronue. And I'll keep my promise, koorime's honor!" Yukina added, back to her old sweet self now that one of the four were back to normal. 

He gave her a smart little salute. "I'll be holding you to it, Yukina. You take good care of that brother of yours, and you make sure this fox here stays out of trouble."

And with that, he was gone, disappearing without any sign that he was even there at all. 

            "And now, for you lot," the youko drawled, examining his claws. "Rest assured, I will get the vengeance I so rightly deserve for being so humiliated. But I'll let you sit and stew in your own terror for a while, not knowing exactly when I'll strike. So I'll leave you with this tender little thought: no matter where you go, there is no hiding from Youko Kurama. You will suffer."

Nadiel and Lis wailed, bolting from the room in black blurs. Shura turned a slightly greenish color, and even Yomi looked a bit apprehensive. 

            The silver kitsune then turned his attention to the much calmer koorime girl, flashing her a brilliant grin. "Thank you, Yukina-chan. Let's head home, all right?"

She nodded. "Sounds like an excellent plan to me, Kurama-san. I can't imagine what trouble the others are causing for those poor boys."

++

TO BE CONTINUED… 


	6. In Which the Author Finally Posts the La...

Last chapter! And it was such a cute story, too. Oh well. Same stuff applies. Go read. 

++

            "YEAAAAUGH! Touya! He bit me again!" Jin wailed, blowing on his fingers. There was a neat little crescent of red marks imprinted right below his knuckles. Hiei, who'd been dropped promptly after trying to munch on the Wind Master, hit the floor and started bawling. Hiruseki stones skittered all over the floor. 

            "Oi, Touya, what're ye supposed to feed the blighters, anyway?" Chu called from the kitchen. He'd managed to wrangle Yusuke and Kuwabara, but was having a hard time keeping them in their seats. There were no such things as high chairs in Genkai's temple, and the little urchins just kept squirming right out of the high-backed chairs. 

            Touya growled, scraping modeling clay off of the dining room table with his fingernails. How was it that everyone assumed he knew what he was doing? Did he look like a babysitter to them? "Could you two give me five minutes?"

            Yusuke and Kuwabara ran by, Yusuke firing shots at the redhead, who was waving a wooden spoon. "Rei Gun! Rei Gun!" the young Tantei was crying, punching large holes right through the shoji screens. Kuwabara, not watching where he was going…too concerned with dodging Yusuke's attack, tripped right over Hiei. The little youkai, now doubly battered and three times as angry, ripped off his warding bandages with his teeth. Black flames seethed around his entire tiny frame. 

            "JAOH ENSATSU…Kurama!"

The redhead toed his shoes off, stepping through the battered shoji screens with his usual grace. Yukina followed, surveying the damage. Large smoking holes, overturned and broken furniture, mysterious and sticky puddles on the floor, and three demon babysitters suspiciously absent. 

            "Touya? Jin? Chu?" she called out. "I'm back! With the antidote!"

They came running, uttering hurried goodbyes to her and frantic greetings to the newly teenaged fox-demon, bolting out the door and back through the portal to the Makai. 

            "Maybe I should have paid them," Yukina suggested, righting an end table. 

            Kurama shrugged, picking up the child Hiei. "You even _think _about biting me and I promise you that my window will remain shut for an entire month…shut and _locked, _Hiei."

Hiei wasn't listening; he was too busy snuggling up against the much taller boy, muttering contentedly. Yukina wandered around the house, following the wake of destruction to Yusuke and Kuwabara. 

            Not more than five minutes later the furious cries of "I'm gonna kick Yomi's ass for this!" resounded through the temple as a sticky and unkempt Yusuke and an even stickier and more unkempt Kuwabara returned to their old selves. They walked back into the front hall, trying to look as unruffled as possible but failing miserably considering they had blue raspberry gelatin ground into their hair. 

            "I rather like Hiei like this," Kurama chuckled. "More portable."

Kuwabara, ever the lover of kittens and small children, went to pat the little demon's head and he chomped down on the psychic's fingers. "Kurama! Turn him back! Turn him back now!"

Three minutes later, Hiei was sitting on the floor, rewrapping his wards and trying not to notice the large wad of yellow clay mashed into the side of his head. 

            "Shit, Hiei, you were a pain in the ass as a kid. No wonder nobody wanted you," Yusuke observed. The fire demon growled, reaching for his katana. 

            "Better take that back, Tantei, or else!"

There was a loud metallic 'clank' at that point that got the four young men to abruptly stop and turn around. Yukina was standing in the doorway, holding a plethora of buckets, mops, sponges, rice paper for the screens, floor wax…basically the entire contents of a housekeeper's trolley. 

            "Well, now that you're back to normal," she said, eyes glinting, "you can help clean up the mess you've made of the temple before Genkai gets home."

Kurama shot Hiei a look. "She's definitely _your _sister."

++

            It was late that evening when Botan and Koenma returned to the temple, holding hands and laughing. The building was still standing, to their surprise. And it was strangely quiet as well. 

            "They've killed her and eaten her," Botan moaned. "This is all our fault!"

The Judge of the Dead and his favorite ferry-girl raced inside, finding the interior sparklingly spotless, Yukina sitting on the futon with a dish of strawberry ice cream. 

            "So, did Yomi give you the antidote?" she asked sweetly, licking her spoon. 

The two immortals exchanged looks. "Um…not exactly…"

She beamed. "That's all right, because I went and got it myself. You'll have to thank Chu, Touya and Jin somehow for taking such good care of the boys while I was out."

            "You went to Gandara?! Alone? After I specifically told you not to?" Koenma howled. 

Yukina smiled even brighter, if it was possible. "Not alone, I had help. Kurama's friend Kuronue was very helpful. He wanted me to put in a good word for him, so he can get on parole quicker."

Botan was practically jumping up and down. "Well? Where are they?"

            "Where are who?"

            "The boys! Where are Yusuke and the others? Are they all right?" she screamed. 

Yukina's expression became troubled. "Oh, well, not entirely. You see, the antidote was nothing more than colored water. They're stuck like that. And I couldn't possibly take care of them and manage the temple by myself, and you know Genkai hates children. I think you're going to have to keep them and raise them yourselves."

            Koenma dropped his pacifier, shifting instantly from teenage to infant form and throwing a mighty tantrum. "It's not fair! I don't wanna! Nonononono!"

Botan was a little more reserved. "Can I go see them?"

The koorime nodded. "They're in the other room, right through there. But I think they're sleeping."

            Botan picked up the howling god by the ear and dragged him down the hallway, pushing open the door. Ticker tape and confetti exploded in their faces courtesy of Yusuke and Kuwabara. 

            "Surprise! Gotcha!" they cackled, Kurama snapping a Polaroid of the flabbergasted looks on their faces. Hiei smirked. 

            "_That,_" he pointedly informed them, "was for putting Yukina through twenty-four hours of hell. Next time something like this happens, I suggest you give us straight to Yomi and see how he likes it."

Yusuke yawned. "Yeah. Now, if you don't mind, I'll bet Keiko's having a coronary."

            "I'm heading out too. Shizuru's gonna bust my ass since she had to cover for me."

Kurama nodded, setting the camera down and pocketing the picture. "My mother must be worried sick. Coming, Hiei?"

            "If you're making me, fox."

Koenma and Botan stood stock still in the doorway, too shocked to move, letting the detectives breeze past them. Eventually, they recovered from their stupor and wandered back into the sitting room. Yukina was still eating her ice cream, swinging her legs against the futon. 

            "I was thinking," she said, "maybe I should open a babysitting service."

Botan groaned, practically falling over. "She's so cruel! Since when did she turn into Hiei's twin?"

            "She's always been Hiei's twin, imbecile," Koenma snapped. 

Yukina just kept on smiling sweetly, eating her ice cream and swinging her legs. 

++

Notes:

Yukina was so out of character…and I didn't even mean for her to get that bad. I suppose she's just having an off day. We all have them. Besides, she deserves to be angry. I'd be pretty pissed if Koenma and Botan showed up with an armload of crazy kids. That, and I really wanted to exploit the fact that she's Hiei's sister. Kuronue…heheh, I admit, I made him into Jack Sparrow. I couldn't help myself! I thought if there was anyone who could pull off some PotC it'd be him. Besides, can't you just picture that sexy chimera saying "savvy?" Go out right now and buy the latest _Shonen Jump _if you haven't already done so. Hiei and Kurama are finally in it! Whoopah! Plus you get to hear Yusuke utter such gems as "holy cheese on rye!"   


End file.
